As You Hide In The Shadows...

“I don't speak up for myself because I don’t think people will believe me.” ~DeJshane’ White-Eagles

I read a story about a woman who was offered $100 an hour to sing jingles. One day she realized what she was accounting for in her records didn’t match the checks she had been receiving. When she asked her “employer” about this his accountant said she was only being paid $70 an hour, not $100. She decided to go see the “man in charge” who was living large off of her and the other singers. Of course, he claimed he didn’t remember such an arrangement, told her that it wouldn’t be fair to pay her so much when the others only got $70 and even tried to intimidate her by pushing buttons that drew the curtains closed and locked the door shut. She had spent her life trying not to be too pushy towards men since that’s what her mom had taught her but her true self rose above and she demanded her promised pay or she was willing to walk away from it all. She left his office that day with her full compensation.

Reading that short story reminded me of my daughter and a conversation we had. Periodically I asked my daughter about her life and her relationship with others. I do this to keep our communication open and to find out if there is anything bothering her that I can be of assistance with, She had mentioned to me that she cries a lot. I asked her why. She said it was because sometimes people said things to her that didn’t make her happy, it didn’t matter what it was they said if it wasn’t what she wanted to hear she got sad. I began to realize that my child has a complex. I also noticed that when someone accuses her of something she doesn’t really speak up too much for herself. Her brother does this all the time and sometimes she speaks up sometimes she doesn’t. So naturally, when she doesn’t, I assume she must be guilty. I asked her why she does this. She told me people will only think she is lying. I said to her “let them.” I proceeded to tell her never to be afraid to stand up for yourself. Always be who you are and never let anyone try to make you into someone you are not. I have made it my daily mission to remind her to be a stronger person and be who she believes she wants to be. I also make sure I tell her to be truthful. I say to her to tell the truth if the truth isn’t believed then oh well. Just be truthful and don’t lie. Everything you say will not be believed but as long as you tell the truth, people won’t peg you as a liar.

Don’t hide in the shadows trying to keep a safe existence; you won’t be happy with the person you become. You won't be happy with who you are. You will be more prone to being miserable and for a lot of young people more susceptible to being drug addicts, alcoholics and much worse. When you try to be what others want you to be, you end up fighting with yourself. That conflict causes you to become angry, depressed, and possibly looking for ways to suppress those feelings in the wrong way.

Love who you are, who you want to be, and who you can be. Love yourself if no one else does. Your happiness with yourself will resonate with others and they will learn to love you as you are, not for whom they want you to be.

And...It Is What It Is!