Move On & Work On YOU...Not Him

“In order to gain my life I had to lose it.” ~Carol Collopy



It is interesting I found this quote; it speaks on exactly what I planned on talking about. My previous post was about women who use their kids to get back at the fathers. That brought up the subject of moving on; rebuilding your life after a failed relationship.


It is hard for some women to move on with their lives after their mate has gone. Typically the guy moves rather quickly. He may not get into a relationship but he has no issues dating other women. His ex spends her time cussing him out, calling him, showing up to his house, showing up where he hangs out, and sometimes even going to his job…all to act a fool, not realizing she is on a path of self-destruction. She hates to see him happy. This is a raw deal for both involved and if there are kids involved; it’s even worse for them.


I have 2 children that are almost 9 years apart they have different fathers whom I am not with. For reasons I will not go into; I left those relationships on my own regard. I honestly could care less what they are doing if it does not concern my children. Maybe I am biased since I am the one that walked away but I feel like instead of wishing the man harm because of a failed relationship, a woman should wish him well. A happy man is a better father. Now, if he isn’t being a father; then I don’t care if he is happy or not. But I am not wasting my precious time to make sure that he isn’t. I am busy taking care of my kids, running my business and maintaining my own social life.


Women need to take time to rebuild their lives. Leaving the past life in the past and renewing their present for a new and better future; because every move in life should be better than the last. You should forever be in a process of progress instead of digressing.


Allow yourself a moment to hurt, to cry, and to be angry. Just do not let these feelings consume your life. I cannot say how long it will take for the hurt to go away but if you fill your life with positive things and activity they will subside and become more bearable until eventually you will feel renewed. Your new take on life will resonate into your aura and your ex-mate will notice this. There is no better way to show and prove than to show how you can do good if not better without someone. Focus on your health, your looks, your activities, and your friends. If you gained weight, lose it. If you stopped caring about your look, improve it. Become the person you want to be proud of and that is the best way to get back at someone who stopped loving you or never did.