Confessions of a Thinkaholic
How do you teach yourself to not over think. When you have a mind that is always going how do you stop it? I am always thinking my mind stays on overload. But sometimes it isn’t a good thing some time I over think situations, especially relationships. A small thought gets bigger and bigger until it becomes a scenario then maybe an issue when all it ever was is a thought. This is definitely a side of myself I don’t like.
I consider myself a realist. Facts are facts. There’s no denying that. This is my truth, my confession.
So you ask what makes me think of such a thing and why now?
Well the answer is simple. Something happened that made me realize that I need to slow down my over thinking before it ruins my happiness. Now before I get started I cannot say that my happiness is guaranteed but I will never know it is I don’t get it together.
I recently started seeing a guy. I have spoken to this guys in a hi/bye fashion for over a year but we never took the time to have a real conversation I was in my on again/off again relationship and he, well I believe the same. He has always been cute but that was all I thought, never having any inclination to ever speak to him in any fashion other than hi. As a matter of fact it was February of last year and he said my name, I remember thinking to myself I didn’t know he knew my name. I mean a lot of people know me and my name but for some reason that just took me by surprise, the fact that he actually said it. Anywho back to the present. Facebook had the infamous number game. He posted he wanted to play so I sent him my number. Now I wouldn’t have done this if he hadn’t replied on one of my posts a couple weeks earlier about joining me when I stated I was going to go eat. Even though it was a harmless flirt it sparked my interest when the numbers game came around. Well, when he gave his thoughts about me he stated that he had always found me fine. He sent me his number and I said what I said and after that he sent his number in my box. From that point forward we began to speak then hang out. It was weird because we clicked immediately. Something I wasn’t expecting at all. I didn’t think I would like him. I just knew he was sexy and super fine.
When he expressed jealousy over me going out to a party with a male friend I realized that he had feelings for me. Everything is so fast that it is scary. I am going to skip some recent activities just in case some of the involved onlookers are reading this. They will put 2 and 2 together. But I will say that after those activities a lot of things began to make me feel over whelmed and I wanted to cut anyone that was trying to get close to me out of my life, including him. I was going to let him go because I was afraid of being hurt. My mind as always began to race and all of these scenarios began to appear out of no where. I was fully prepared to throw in the towel until he brought me down to earth and asked me to just give him a chance. I realized that I was giving him a chance and that he deserved exactly that. I want to just let go of my fear and stop my mind from racing. I want to allow myself the possibility to be happy with someone. I deserve it and so does he. The way we are together is something I haven’t had in a while. To feel like someone adores you is a wonderful feeling. To have someone that wants to make you happy, what woman wouldn’t want that. But so often we mess it up by over thinking. Not just women, men do it too. Being hurt by a previous lover destroys some of that fairy tale spirit if not all of it so our minds began to come up with scenarios that will make the possible impossible. At some point we have to start living again with the expectation of happiness. They say if you expect the worse you won’t be disappointed when it happens and anything good will be a blessing. But should we really handle relationships that way? We cannot go through life guarded. At some point we have to let someone else in to love us.
I consider myself a realist. Facts are facts. There’s no denying that. This is my truth, my confession.
So you ask what makes me think of such a thing and why now?
Well the answer is simple. Something happened that made me realize that I need to slow down my over thinking before it ruins my happiness. Now before I get started I cannot say that my happiness is guaranteed but I will never know it is I don’t get it together.
I recently started seeing a guy. I have spoken to this guys in a hi/bye fashion for over a year but we never took the time to have a real conversation I was in my on again/off again relationship and he, well I believe the same. He has always been cute but that was all I thought, never having any inclination to ever speak to him in any fashion other than hi. As a matter of fact it was February of last year and he said my name, I remember thinking to myself I didn’t know he knew my name. I mean a lot of people know me and my name but for some reason that just took me by surprise, the fact that he actually said it. Anywho back to the present. Facebook had the infamous number game. He posted he wanted to play so I sent him my number. Now I wouldn’t have done this if he hadn’t replied on one of my posts a couple weeks earlier about joining me when I stated I was going to go eat. Even though it was a harmless flirt it sparked my interest when the numbers game came around. Well, when he gave his thoughts about me he stated that he had always found me fine. He sent me his number and I said what I said and after that he sent his number in my box. From that point forward we began to speak then hang out. It was weird because we clicked immediately. Something I wasn’t expecting at all. I didn’t think I would like him. I just knew he was sexy and super fine.
When he expressed jealousy over me going out to a party with a male friend I realized that he had feelings for me. Everything is so fast that it is scary. I am going to skip some recent activities just in case some of the involved onlookers are reading this. They will put 2 and 2 together. But I will say that after those activities a lot of things began to make me feel over whelmed and I wanted to cut anyone that was trying to get close to me out of my life, including him. I was going to let him go because I was afraid of being hurt. My mind as always began to race and all of these scenarios began to appear out of no where. I was fully prepared to throw in the towel until he brought me down to earth and asked me to just give him a chance. I realized that I was giving him a chance and that he deserved exactly that. I want to just let go of my fear and stop my mind from racing. I want to allow myself the possibility to be happy with someone. I deserve it and so does he. The way we are together is something I haven’t had in a while. To feel like someone adores you is a wonderful feeling. To have someone that wants to make you happy, what woman wouldn’t want that. But so often we mess it up by over thinking. Not just women, men do it too. Being hurt by a previous lover destroys some of that fairy tale spirit if not all of it so our minds began to come up with scenarios that will make the possible impossible. At some point we have to start living again with the expectation of happiness. They say if you expect the worse you won’t be disappointed when it happens and anything good will be a blessing. But should we really handle relationships that way? We cannot go through life guarded. At some point we have to let someone else in to love us.
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