The Engagement: Know Who You Are Standing By

The Engagement Series is a series of blog posts written before I got married in a very private ceremony on December 13th. They are released daily until they are complete, I hope you enjoy.

December 6, 2012

It’s good to know who you are going to marry. Even though you won’t ever know everything about your spouse-to-be you should know as much as possible especially anything that’s going to affect you and/or your relationship.

This is the moment I keep it real with you; now days it’s hard to know everything that is going on with someone. Make sure you do your homework, after that you can honestly decide what is best for you. That being said I decided to do a mini background check on my fiancé I do this with most people I date and the reason is simple, if this person is going to be around my children I need a little insight into who they are, what they’ve done, etc.

You can feel however you want to about it but that doesn’t phase me not one ounce. Because at the end of the day this is my life and the lives of my family that I have to ensure will be ok in the long run. I understand some people are thinking “well, if you don’t trust them” this isn’t about trust and having blind faith it’s about being informed and knowing exactly what you are getting into.

So that being said, once I found out what I needed to find out we discussed what I had come across and we came to an understanding. I had to decided what I wanted to do and if what I found was worth letting everything go or not. In the end I decided to stay, nothing was enough to affect my family in any way and that was the main issue I was worried about finding.

So, I suggest doing a Google search of your significant other’s legal name and any screen names they may have used as well as a courts name search. You can also take it a step further and do an actual background check for about $10, furthermore check any sex offender registries as well. Way too many times you hear about someone you see around here all the time being listed as a sex offender or sometimes even having a history of domestic abuse against a former lover.

You can never be too careful in this world, but make sure you are prepared for the same thing to happen to you as well. After all, it is a two-way street.

And…It Is What It Is!