Stay Within Your Dating Lane - Date Who You Can Deal With (Video)

The video below pretty much speaks for itself; but I have decided to write this blog about the topic at hand.

Too often we find ourselves in relationships that just are not quite what we had in mind. Men look at a woman that has it all together and say to themselves “damn, I need a woman like her in my life” not realizing what it takes to be where she is and maintain that. Some women actually slow down after meeting this man because he is either complaining about needing her to be there more or she just chooses to be there more. I know you have seen that woman that seemed to have it all, looks good, and is all about her business; then all of a sudden after she gets with a certain guy she kind of goes downhill? Or you may have heard someone say “ever since she got with so and so she don’t look the same” or “so and so brought her down.” Well, this is not about her; I say her, because it is usually the woman who sacrifices herself more often than the man, but men do it as well. But this focuses more on the person who keeps striving, who stays busy and the person who is dating them.

This is more of a message pertaining to staying within your zone, dating on your level, etc. I have always promoted the saying “surround yourself with people doing better than you”. Sounds good, right? Well, that only pertains to people who are actively trying to elevate themselves; otherwise you are doing more damage than good and if you are the one who is doing good and dating someone who is not, you may find that they will bring, or attempt to, bring you down if their goals do not match your own.

If you want someone who will have a lot of time for you and you have a lot of time for them, then good. But if you want someone who is successful or is working towards being successful, you have to realize that this person will be busy and may not have the amount of time you are wanting. If you are dating someone who decides they want to go back to school and better their life, especially if you have children together, you need to respect their school schedule and study time so that they can obtain a degree to provide a better life for your children. You have to realize that school takes a lot of time, if that person is going to be successful. Stressing them about not having time for you and being available when you want them to be is only going to derail them from their success. 

Having that ideal person sounds like a wonderful life, but keep in mind the sacrifice it takes for things to be ideal. If you know you are a busy person and you choose to date someone with a lot of time on their hands, do not assume that they are going to understand just because you told them that you are a busy person. Eventually, they forget those words and begin to demand more time from you. You are better off dating someone who understands your busy schedule, your hustle, your drive; if not, prepare yourself for possible headaches in the future. 

If you see a single parent and they seem to have it all together, they are financially stable, they are in school, they own a business, they have a good job, and they are a great parent, remember, all of that takes time; meaning, in order for them to do all of that they don’t have a lot of time available. You must find a way to fit into their schedule. Even if that means doing stuff with the kids, coming to games they may coach or their kid’s game, helping them study for a test, whatever it takes to build that bond.

Honestly, I could talk about this topic all day but I am going to let you watch to the video.

And...It Is What It Is!