Relationships: There's That Word Again
I want to take a moment to talk about relationships. I am no poster child for what is right and what is wrong. I am a student of life and I am learning the best I can. Initially, I was going to talk about the relationship between a man and a woman, but as I sit here and think about it I want to address friendships between women as well.
On Female Friendships...
So often women put aside engagements and time with other women. They put so many things ahead of their relationships with their “sista” friends. Life becomes a whirlwind of frustration with work, spouse, children and family. Women don’t make a lot of time for themselves, because of this they tend to be more stressed and/or depressed.
I read a study that stated women who maintain healthy female relationships tend to deal with stress better, the reason being is when they are with friends, talking, laughing and sharing; they tend to release a chemical called Oxytocin which counters stress and creates a calming effect. The research suggested that women without female friendships tend to increase their risk of death over a six month period, while women with female friendships tend to cut their risk of death by 60%.
This is why my Girls Night gatherings are so important to me, women need that time to be with their “sista” girls and like-minded positive women. It really is good for your health and your soul.
On Love...
I am so not the expert on relationships, I had to say that again. I won’t even begin to tell you how to handle your own. I can only tell you what I am doing, my experience and my journey.
The past few years have been up and down, trying to find the right fit for myself. I eventually came to a conclusion, I needed to be more picky in who I chose to date and look at their past choices in women as well, I needed to stop worrying, stop trying to fill in gaps that were void and allow myself the time that was needed to focus on what was right in front of me. I know I am being quite vague in this matter but that is only because I am somewhat private when it comes to my relationship, due to past experiences, but I will say that I’ve been dealing with someone for a few months now and we have grown in a way that I didn’t expect us to.
I’ve allowed the situation to form on its own, no rushing to get close or cross boundaries, no need to spend every moment together, just focusing on communication and building a friendship; also taking the time to focus on one another without adding to the equation which can cause mixed feelings.
I am enjoying this moment I am in and with being so busy I don’t have a lot of time to focus on all the aspects and fine details and how much time we get to spend because we spend the time we can and enjoy every moment of it. Now I will be honest, there was a time that this bothered me, but we had to find a balance. We talk all day every day via phone or text and when we are together alone in our space, we don’t have to say a word and we still feel like we had the most fulfilling time ever. It’s amazing to have someone you can joke and laugh with or just say nothing to and still have the same feeling.
No labels, no requirements, no expectations. Just enjoying life and doing it with someone who wants to, tries to, or truly does understand you.
And...It Is What It Is!
On Female Friendships...
So often women put aside engagements and time with other women. They put so many things ahead of their relationships with their “sista” friends. Life becomes a whirlwind of frustration with work, spouse, children and family. Women don’t make a lot of time for themselves, because of this they tend to be more stressed and/or depressed.
I read a study that stated women who maintain healthy female relationships tend to deal with stress better, the reason being is when they are with friends, talking, laughing and sharing; they tend to release a chemical called Oxytocin which counters stress and creates a calming effect. The research suggested that women without female friendships tend to increase their risk of death over a six month period, while women with female friendships tend to cut their risk of death by 60%.
This is why my Girls Night gatherings are so important to me, women need that time to be with their “sista” girls and like-minded positive women. It really is good for your health and your soul.
On Love...
I am so not the expert on relationships, I had to say that again. I won’t even begin to tell you how to handle your own. I can only tell you what I am doing, my experience and my journey.
The past few years have been up and down, trying to find the right fit for myself. I eventually came to a conclusion, I needed to be more picky in who I chose to date and look at their past choices in women as well, I needed to stop worrying, stop trying to fill in gaps that were void and allow myself the time that was needed to focus on what was right in front of me. I know I am being quite vague in this matter but that is only because I am somewhat private when it comes to my relationship, due to past experiences, but I will say that I’ve been dealing with someone for a few months now and we have grown in a way that I didn’t expect us to.
I’ve allowed the situation to form on its own, no rushing to get close or cross boundaries, no need to spend every moment together, just focusing on communication and building a friendship; also taking the time to focus on one another without adding to the equation which can cause mixed feelings.
I am enjoying this moment I am in and with being so busy I don’t have a lot of time to focus on all the aspects and fine details and how much time we get to spend because we spend the time we can and enjoy every moment of it. Now I will be honest, there was a time that this bothered me, but we had to find a balance. We talk all day every day via phone or text and when we are together alone in our space, we don’t have to say a word and we still feel like we had the most fulfilling time ever. It’s amazing to have someone you can joke and laugh with or just say nothing to and still have the same feeling.
No labels, no requirements, no expectations. Just enjoying life and doing it with someone who wants to, tries to, or truly does understand you.
And...It Is What It Is!
Great post. Crazy thing about it this me and my best friend was talking about something similar to this a couple of months ago. So we have been getting together at least 2-3 times a month no matter if its lunch, the movies, or just to go to the mall and go shopping. I must say it is good to hang out with the ladies.
ReplyDeleteYeah, its a good thing to have. I have my gathering every 2 mos. So 4 times a year. It isnt often but we focus on everythig from personal to professional goals
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