Saddle Up and Sit On Your High Horse

I was sitting here reading and the story made me reflect back on some past experiences.

Most people I encounter comment on how I look as though I’ve been working out, lost weight, look good, etc and even though I can see it in what I wear, sometimes I look in the mirror and in my eyes I somewhat look the same, because I look at myself every day but that is a totally different topic.

This blog is actually about people who point out negatives instead of positives. Those people I associate with or would even consider friends never said much when I would gain weight but there is one person a bit closer to me, who would always say “Shani, you look like you’ve gained weight” and I remember saying to myself, “yep sure did, you didn’t have shit to say when I lost it though and I’m still smaller than you anyway”.

As I have been on my journey this past year, to not just lose weight but to develop a healthy lifestyle I’ve noticed the same thing; not one compliment from this person whom I’ve seen on quite a few occasions. In all honestly I don’t’ give a damn because at the end of the day I think I look damn good and they’ve never had anything positive to say anyway about anything or anyone. But it makes me think about how people are so willing to point out a person’s flaws and never celebrate their accomplishments. Why is this, why do people praise what they see as failure instead of praising accomplishments? I always make an effort to compliment a person and support them in making positive efforts and decisions. It’s a good feeling to be so secure enough within yourself that you don’t need the approval of others to feel accomplished or complete; but it also feels good to know that others are gracious enough to not only recognize but compliment you on your accomplishments as well. In today’s days and times it is rare for another person to reach out and encourage another person so don’t expect it but always be appreciative when they do.

One thing I’ve encountered in my life is people making efforts to “bring me down a notch”. Make me feel less about myself than I do. I know I am at fault, especially in my relationships, for dealing with people who are so unhappy with themselves that instead of them allowing me to create a sense of happiness in their lives they prefer to try and drag me down instead. I’ve always felt the desire to help others but I’ve come to the realization that I just need to focus on my own happiness and remove negative unhappy people from my presence. I need to surround myself with people who are already happy with who they are instead of trying to save the ones who aren’t, those people do everything within their power to make you look bad and bring harm to your life. I even had a guy tell me one time that I need a “sucka” who would put me on a pedestal. I’m sorry but if that is what a sucka is then, yeah point me in the right direction so I can knock on his door and make him happy like you could be if you’d just try it.

We all have our own reservations about ourselves and insecurities, some of us just hide it better than others, but remember, you have to be your #1 supporter and cheerleader, you have to be your own judge and jury and you definitely have to recognize the beauty within yourself. Don’t look to others for approval of who you are because honestly the only person you have to answer to is the man above, the one who originally designed you. You must love yourself enough to want to be better and do better and enough to recognize when you have. If you have family or friends who would rather praise others before you, that’s ok, that is their own insecurities with who they are and their lack of appreciation of who you are, but honestly it’s more of a compliment than you think. It shows they envy who you are and are too weak to admit it.

And…It Is What It Is!